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  • Jill Lurie, LCSW

Who's the boss - You or your teenager?


Let's face it, teenagers want to do what they want to do when they want to do it. While they are smart, energetic and creative, many teens can be downright disagreeable and rude from time to time. I created a short questionnaire and some guidelines to help parents better handle those times of conflict. With a little forethought and hopefully collaboration from your team, you'll be on the way to getting along better and creating a more peaceful home environment for everyone. Here are some questions to ask yourself and best practices which will help you formulate and follow through with your plan:


Tips to change behavior in Adolescents

What behavior would you like your child to change? Be specific

Why do you feel the behavior should be changed?

What are some rewards you can offer to encourage the behavior?

What are some consequences you might use to discourage the behavior?

Best practices

  • Discuss with the teenager what your concerns are and what changes you would like to see

  • Allow the adolescent an opportunity to voice his/her opinions and ask any questions.

  • Discuss with your child how you intend to help him/her learn the new behavior. Allow him/her an opportunity to respond and perhaps to suggest other alternatives for you to consider.

  • Using your original ideas and the discussion with your child, decide on a course of action and communicate to him/her what you have decided.

  • Consider setting a household rule from this point forward. Rules should be Clear, Specific, Age-appropriate, Enforceable, Applied and Enforced consistently

  • As much as possible, allow the teenager the freedom to choose compliance or non-compliance.

  • Apply consequences immediately, consistently, and with little or no discussion

  • Revise the rules or consequences as necessary.

  • Offer encouragement and appreciation when the teenager shows he is learning the new behavior

Tips to change behavior in Adolescents
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